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An epic Christmas tale by Zach and Eric. The first of hopefully many songs to be put together for a Christmas album. *Disclaimer: We were bored. This was the result. Aye, I'd best not be slacking off. Christmas is nearing ye know, and... he's watching. Har har! There ain't no such thing as a Santa. *pegleg across deck* Ye wanna repeat that, swabbie? Cap'n! I- 'Cause there is a Santa. I seen him with me own eye! And every Christmas, he sails the seven seas, Looking for the naughty, to exact his horrible punishment. Oh, ye'd wish for coal instead of what he means to do to the likes of us... Key of A, me hearties. Ev'ry year when the north winds blooow A cut-throat cap'n with a heart like snooow Sails from his port an' wheree'er he goes The seas resound "yo ho ho ho!" 'Neath a red Jolly Roger and the grreeenest sails His ship comes bounding with the sound of bells. Few survive who can tell the tale, Of Pirate Santa and his ship from hell. [Chorus] Yo, ho, Pirate Santa's after you. You know you can't escape your doom. So hope Heaven's gates will shelter you. There's no place for you to hide. For every pint of rum we drank For every peaceful ship we sank, For every man we stabbed or shanked, He's sure to make us walk the plank. A pirate's life is filled with sin: For a piece of eight we'd trade our kin. For our wicked lives he'll do us in. Pirate Santa will be our end. [Chorus] He's made his list and checked it twice But you and me he won't find nice. He'll exact a payment for our vice: It's with our lives we'll pay the price. Cookies and milk can not repay The thirst for blood he has that day He's after us, he's on his way. Pirate Santa's set to slay. [Chorus] So me hearties, let this serve as a warning to ye, He sees you when ye be sleepin' and when ye be awake. He knows yer deeds, and Christmas morn's a' comin'! (it's a'comin'!) It won't be holly or jolly for those he deems naughty... [Chorus] Everybody! [Chorus]